She Used To Be Mine
My friend, Gina, sent me the link to Sara Bareilles' song below. It is such a beautiful representation of (and expresses better than I ever could myself) the feelings I've battled for so long ... the sense of being broken, lonely most of the time, not recognizing who I've become, longing (in part) for who I used to be, and the desire to give it all back for a chance to start over and rewrite the ending for the girl I used to be.
Sara Bareilles - She Used To Be Mine
I had such awesome plans and high hopes when I graduated from high school. I intended to join the Foreign Service, travel the world, and become a foreign diplomat. My life now in no way resembles that previously imagined life, but I've learned a lot along the way.
For starters, I've learned that it's not always what you know so much as who you know. It's not so much a matter of how many"book smarts" you have as it is how well have you developed your people skills? (I know some people who are incredibly intelligent but do not have an ounce of common sense or know the first thing about getting along with others.) I've learned that life isn't about acquiring things or making more money; it's about making a difference in the lives of those around you. It's about contributing to society and making the world a better place.
God has given me a chance to go back and rewrite my ending for the young girl I used to be. I hope I've learned enough along the way to make better choices from this point going forward, and I hope He continues to bring people into my life who will challenge me to grow in ways I never thought possible.
Yes, life can be hard at times and not go at all the way we had initially planned; but it can be a wonderful life if we take the focus off of our circumstances and past mistakes and put it instead on reigniting the fire that used to burn in our hearts when hopes and dreams and wishes and moonbeams shined in our eyes for all to see.
There's a beautiful life filled with possibilities out there waiting for you. Go capture it! I'll be cheering for you ...